I've started to get into my winter niche, which isn't good. It means I don't really want to go out, I would rather keep my head on my pillow and my mouth on silent. It also means I don't get anything done, I sit and think about the things I should do and stare at the tv instead of actually doing any of it.
I must keep myself motivated throughout this next year, I must. I cannot let myself be dragged down by my lonely depression and anti-social tendencies. Breathe in, breathe out. Success is just around the corner. I keep on trying to remind myself that a year really isn't all that long. It's a few holidays, a couple classes, no big deal. It'll be over before I know it and then Andrew and I can finally start a life together instead of floating along apart.
Yes, plans have changed. But that's ok, because now I can focus on bigger plans for a little later on. It's not about what we have to do to be together, Andrew and I are used to being apart, we work well from a distance and it doesn't take as much work as it might for other people. So we can think about what's going to happen when we're actually together. It will be beautiful, like a dream come true.
I can imagine, twenty years from now sitting with my husband and my children and telling those kids the stories about how strong we were while their dad was far away and encouraging them to try to be as patient as we had to be for the ones they really love.
For now, it is of course...one day at a time. Enjoy the slow times before it all gets too fast.
