i gotta have you.

I am a mystery- even to myself. As soon as I have myself figured out I go and do something unexpected.

Never in my life did I think, "Oh yeah, I will definitely start a long distance affair with a man half a world away that I will completely fall for and be willing to wait around for."

But, that's pretty much exactly what I'm doing. You never know who you're going to meet or just how much they'll effect you. Just when you're thinking you're done with men, he will come along and knock you over, making you want to be the one they talk to day after agonizing day.

You never want to say too much, you never want to scare them away. You are surprised and pulled further in each time they say something sinfully sweet. You cannot wait to fall asleep so you can wake up and see if a new message is in your inbox. And, oh, how your heart leaps if there is one and drops if there isn't.

Some days you think you've gone insane, especially those days you don't hear from him at all. You jump to painful conclusions-it was all in your head-something that great could never actually happen to you-you said something that made him erase your name- those days can lead to a grumpy exterior and an unavoidibly crushed interior.

Then the next day comes, and there he is again. Like he was never gone. Like everyone in the world just fell asleep together and you were the only insomniac. You're happy. You are completely prepared to skip and dance and sing mushy love songs and reread those messages over and over.

This is who I am today. I am just a girl falling head over heels when it may never work out. I am taking the risk. I am just a girl hoping and dreaming of a man who can make her the best and most fulfilled version of herself.

Maybe I'm going insane, but if it feels this good to be insane - then give it to me.

He asked for my phone number today. If a man wanted to take time to call you from Japan...don't you think you'd give him the number too?