Sing Me

If I were a song...what would I be?

I cannot choose one to be. I cannot decide what is me.




My life cannot be summed up. I wish it could be. There is no word to describe it like people want you to when they ask how you are.

"Good"? I am not good. But I am not bad. But I am not great. But I am not good.
"Fine"? I am not fine. What the hell is fine anyways.
"Oh You Know"? But I don't know. How could they possibly know?

So what word can be used in this situation? Ish. I am Ish.

I am not in love. I am not happy every day. I am not sad every day. I am not excited. I am not tired. I am not inspired.
I don't like anyone. I don't want anyone. I don't care enough. I will not change enough to fit what people would want.

I will not change!! I will not put on tighter clothes. I will not wear more make up. I will not flirt with you. I will not compliment you. I will not be nicer just so you can think I'm the sweetest girl in the whole wide world. And why? Because I'm fucking NOT the sweetest girl in the whole wide world. I am sarcastic and rude and cruel, but its all in my nature. I cannot take a joke but I expect you to. SO! If you can't deal with that then I can't deal with flirting with you. I can't deal with dating you and spending my time on you and ultimately falling in love with you. I won't do it. I won't change.

I am. Who. I am.

And. I will change only as I go and bloom and love and die. I will not change because you want me to. Because you want me to fit into your box. I am done with that charade. I am me.

I am a song. Sing me.